


This is Yesterday

by burkesl17



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Loki, Kid Thor, Odin's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3114035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burkesl17/pseuds/burkesl17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kid!Loki wakes up in a strange room, on a strange world with no idea how he got there. Has he been kidnapped? How is he going to get home? Whilst on Asgard, a thousand years in the past, adult Loki wakes up in his childhood bedroom very confused about what is going on. Also featuring the Avengers, Odin and BAMF!Frigga.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much to Mikimoo for the great beta read! Whilst this story is set in the MCU, post Thor: The Dark World and the other second phase films released so far, my Loki characterisation also owes a debt to the wonderful Journey into Mystery and Agent of Asgard comics. Title obviously pinched with love from the Manic Street Preachers song.
> 
> Please note this story involves Loki, as both a child and an adult, dealing with Frigga's death. The second part is nearly complete and will be posted soon.

When Loki stretched awake he felt groggy and sticky like he’d slept far too long or wasn’t well. He blinked a few times and then sat up quickly. This wasn’t his room. He was in a large four poster bed, like his parents’ but with plain green drapes and strangely square furniture. 

This wasn’t his room, what was he doing here? He couldn’t remember the day before clearly. He’d been riding with Thor he remembered that, through the meadow and into the woods. They’d jumped the stream and his pony had nearly thrown him, but he’d held on. The rest of the day was a blur though, vague impressions sliding away. 

Someone must have kidnapped him, stolen him from his bed or drugged him. The panic bubbled up in his throat but he forced himself to calm down. He had to get out of here, he had to try and escape and then when he knew where he was, he could get help. He was a Prince of Asgard too, he might be able to bribe someone to help him. 

There was a knife on the bedside table, along with an empty wine glass and a shiny black flat thing, that was made out of a strange material he hadn’t seen before. He slid out of the bed and picked up the knife before creeping over to the door and listening. It didn’t have a key hole, but it didn’t seem very thick either. 

It was a quandary, on the one hand he was’t very threatening, he was just a boy in his night shirt with a knife, on the other his situation probably wasn’t going to get any better. He backed slowly away from the door and decided that whilst being brave was good, he was thinking too much like Thor. He could maybe improve his situation.

Loki backed into the room and made himself look around, there was a chest of drawers and a wardrobe, and if he opened the curtains he would be able to see where he was.

Curtains first. He meant to only pull them back a little way, but he ended up falling between them and the window, pressing his hands against the glass and staring out in amazement. He was up in the sky, surrounded by huge, soaring buildings of glass. They towered up, slick and shining in the sunlight. He’d never seen anywhere like this, never even imagined it.

And it’s strangeness showed he was far from home, possibly from anywhere in the nine realms. It was slightly like pictures of Nova he’d seen he supposed, but it was different to that too. It was also clear he couldn’t escape through the window, even if he could break the glass he had no hope of climbing down so high a building with so few handholds. 

He backed away from the window and hesitated a moment before throwing open the wardrobe door. He was almost as surprised as when he opened the window though, instead of the torture instruments he’d been half expecting there were just clothes. Strange clothes admittedly with no embroidery or robes, but still just clothes. The draws were the same, underwear, scarves, socks and belts. It was bizarrely normal and also very unhelpful for his escape attempt.

They did mean he didn’t have to try and escape in his night clothes. They were all far too large, but he put on a green shirt with buttons up the front and when he’d put a belt around his waist it looked almost like a tunic. He tried to shrink some trousers and shoes, but he couldn’t focus on the magic well enough and it kept slipping away from him. He left his own trousers on, but did put on some socks to protect his feet, even though they kept slipping down. 

Looking in the mirror he had to admit he didn’t look the part of a daring prison escapee, but he could embellish the story once he got out of there and hopefully find some slightly more heroic clothes.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door just a crack. And then the whole way as it became apparent it was just as anti-climatic as the wardrobe. There was just a large empty room, with leather couches based around a big, black, flat thing, shelves full of books and what was possibly a kitchen at one end.

There was a door he guessed led to the outside, it was circled with magic and runes he could just see flickering that looked like they were designed to keep people out. The door was hot enough to burn his hand, but he could open it. Sneaking it open a little bit didn’t show guards, or dogs, or anything. Just a very plain corridor with a low ceiling. His first instinct was just to run for it, but he forced himself to back into the room and quietly pushed the door closed.

For some reason he’d been kidnapped. He and Thor had been drilled on what to do if that ever happened, but this situation didn’t feel like any of the scenarios they’d run through. There should be guards, or locks on the doors. This felt worryingly like a test.

He had a clear choice though. He could either stay here until whoever took him came back, at which point, well at which point who knew with kidnapers as strange as these. Or he could leave now and chance his luck in the strange, gleaming city.

Really it had to be escape, but not a stupid attempt. Loki looked around the room to try and find things to help him. There was a handful of coins, what was probably paper money on the table and another small black, flat thing. He poked it cautiously and it lit up with numbers, pressing them didn't get him anywhere though, it seemed to be a code. There was also a black leather travelling bag, obviously enchanted to take far more than it looked. Loki traced his fingers over the runes stitched into the leather, it was the first truly Asgardian thing he’d seen in the rooms. He wasn’t sure what it meant, a traitor? Or had others been captured with him? Which led to the terrifying thought that maybe Thor had been captured too? He might not be clever enough to think to take stuff with him and had probably just charged out if he was free.

He pushed the worry away, there was no point dwelling on it now, and shoved some apples and bread he found into the bag. He avoided the strange, humming shiny white cupboard and was about to leave when he realised one of the pictures was hanging slightly away from the wall.

It was a map of Midgard, with green pins stuck in it and Loki carefully swung it back from the wall to reveal a magic safe. Runes swirled around it, tangling round each other and it hummed with a darkness he didn’t like. He couldn’t stop himself going closer though and reaching his hand towards it. Suddenly a metal coil sprang out of door and slashed at his palm, he cried out and tried to jump back but it stuck in his hand fast for a moment before withdrawing on it’s own. 

The runes all seemed to suddenly come alive, twisted, sparked and the door suddenly swung open. There was a scrying bowl inside. Along with a lot of other things Loki didn’t like the look of, a few skulls, an amulet dripping blood that vanished almost soon as it hit the air, rolled up scrolls and a collection of hand sized black, flat things that looked similar to ones that had been by the bed.

He couldn’t stop his hands shaking as he put the bowl in his bag, along with a couple of potions he knew he needed to make it work. The fear was catching in his throat now, kidnapping for a payment or to make his father do something was seeming less likely, and it was more like he’d been brought here for a purpose. But he didn’t like the idea of anyone whose purpose needed some of the things in that safe.

He managed to shut the safe, put the map back in place, and walked out of the rooms into the corridor. Which after all that, didn’t appear to have any obvious exit. There were more plain doors like the one he had walked out of and two doors made of metal with numbers flashing above them. Floors maybe? This could be a lift. Unable to think of anything else to do he pressed the button saying ‘call’.

Loki gripped the knife, trying to keep his hands steady and hoping that if anyone came he could just duck around them. 

The lift dinged, the doors slid almost silently open and it was empty. He ran into it and the doors shut behind him. He hit number one, hoping that meant the lowest floor, and gripped the rail as the lift suddenly dropped. On Asgard it didn't even feel like you were moving in these, but here it did, and he braced himself as it stopped and the doors opened. There was a small room before him, with two more doors at the end and a man in strange blue uniform standing in front of it with his arms crossed.

Loki didn’t think he’d ever been as scared in his whole life as he crossed that hall. But he couldn’t run, he had to walk. Running attracted attention, he couldn’t run. Cold sweat was running down his back when he reached the door and pushed it open.

The man looked down at him and frowned, he looked confused and as he began to speak the panic gripped Loki and he ran. He sprinted between the confused people, there were shouts behind him and the noise of the metal vehicles in the middle of the street was deafening. Finally he threw himself round the corner into an alley. The alley took a few turns and then he was out on another large street. This one was much quieter, lots of the vehicles were rushing by but there were only a few people.

Gasping for breath, Loki tried to get his bearings. The buildings were dizzying, as high as the top spires in Asgard but so shiny, and so many of them. They all had large doors at the base with more of the people who looked like guards. And the guards could all be connected, maybe they were all looking out for him.

He backed into the alley again. A woman walked straight past the entrance, her head down and she didn’t notice him at all. The alley smelt very bad, but feeling slightly safer Loki crept towards some huge metal bins. He sunk down next to them and pressed his hands together. Thor would have laughed at how he’d panicked like that, and Father probably would have shouted, he couldn’t do that again. 

Forcing himself to breath slowly he got on his knees and took out the scrying bowl. He’d only just started scrying, he was pretty good, but was he good enough to reach Asgard from whatever strange corner of the universe he was in? He had to be. He had to be good enough. He was a Prince of Asgard, he was good enough.

With that thought in his head, Loki poured out the first potion and began to mutter the incantations. To his relief the black liquid began to turn blue, then got brighter and brighter until it was sparkling silver.

Now was the tricky bit. He poured in just a little of the green potion and watched the two liquids swirl together. He said the rest of the spell and then as clearly and loudly as he dared, “Frigga. Frigga Allmother, Queen of Asgard.”

The liquid glowed, but nothing happened. He tried again, tears were beginning to swim in his eyes and catch in his throat, but still the liquid just lay still and unmoving.

“Frigga…mother please. Mother!” But nothing happened, nothing at all.

He dropped down, and fought the tears but couldn’t stop them for a few minutes at least. He was alone, entirely alone here. He couldn’t call for help. Finally he lifted his head. The scrying spell had held, maybe he couldn’t reach Frigga, but perhaps he could reach Thor. Perhaps Thor was here somewhere too, and if he was, then maybe he needed Loki to rescue him. Or if he was free then together…together they could surely escape.

He bent over the bowl, and trying not to sound like he’d been crying, said, “Thor. Thor Odinson. Brother.”

And instantly the silver and green began to swirl and intertwine. The two mixed together, spun, knotted up, and then flashed with a rumble of thunder. For a moment Loki was blinded, and then he was blinking at the face of a blond, bearded man. Most assuredly not Thor. But…but if Thor was still captured, perhaps the man holding him.

He put on his most princely expression, raised his chin and said, “I wish to speak to Thor Odinson. Show him to me.”

The man was staring at him in total shock and all he chocked out in response was “Loki?”

****

Loki woke up with a splitting headache as if he’d spent the night drinking elven wine. He stretched and turned to bury his face in the pillow. But his feet hit a board that shouldn’t be there and the strangeness had him sitting up instantly. He was tangled in blankets and he flailed as he fell off the narrow bed and onto the floor.

He instantly leapt into a defensive crouch, calling a knife to his hand and then stopped as he realised where he was. He was in his old childhood bedroom. A place he absolutely couldn’t be, but there was no possibility he was mistaking it.

The early morning of light of Asgard was the same, creeping soft and golden through the drapes embroidered with trees and animals that were billowing softly in the breeze, because of course he got too hot at night. (One clue among the hundred he should have seen.) Above his head his old mobile of Yggdrasil and the nine realms was slowly turning in the draft. His old desk, covered in papers, rocks, dried plants, shells, childish treasures he’d found on adventures and thought interesting. The walls with scenes from the stories he’d most liked, made especially for him by the engravers and printers of Asgard. The rack of swords and spears, all wooden at this point.

He pinched himself hard, but didn’t wake up on Midgard. And this didn’t feel like a dream, it felt entirely real. In a daze he wandered to the desk, he’d been practicing magic runes apparently. Rows and rows of them drawn in lines across the page. 

What magic had brought him here, to this time and place? The doorknob began to turn and he barely had time to cast an invisibility spell on himself when it opened fully and Frigga walked into the room. He had to stop himself crying out to see her again, to see her alive and well and young. Younger than he remembered really. He must have missed her ageing as he’d aged himself.

And oh she was beautiful. Her hair was a rich gold that exactly matched Thor’s, her face didn’t have the lines of later years and she smiled as she called out, “Loki? Loki where are you?” She pulled open the curtains and sunlight flooded the room. Loki stepped back, the noise hidden by the sound of the material. 

Frigga frowned and turned around, her hands on her hips. “Of course, today of all days he gets up early.” 

She smiled ruefully and he reached out towards her before he could stop himself. But then there was shouting in the hall outside, and running feet and Loki stared as a boy who could only be Thor ran into the room, waving a wooden sword and shouting, “Loooookkkiii, get up, get up, get up! We’re going…”

He stopped, frowned at the empty bed and said, “Where is he?”

Loki was still staring at Thor, almost unable to believe his brother had ever been so small, and nearly missed Frigga say, “I don’t know.” She frowned and looked at Thor, “Did he say anything about getting up early this morning?”

Thor shook his head and looked terribly guilty for a second. Frigga straightened up and said sharply, “Out with it.”

“He didn’t, honestly he didn’t!”

“Thor.”

“No he really didn’t.” Thor sat down on the bed, starting to look worried. “He said he was going to stay up late to finish the runes he’s trying to learn.” 

“And?”

“He asked me to cause a distraction so he could sleep later.” Thor said that in a rush and then jumped to his feet saying, “Please don’t tell him I told you! I said I wouldn’t!”

“So that was what all the fuss was about at breakfast.”

“Um, yes, sorry.”

Frigga nodded and looked around the room, she crouched by the tangle of blankets on the floor.

Even though he was invisible, Loki backed into the shadow by the wall. There was safety in shadows and until he had more information he didn’t want to risk them seeing him. Even if the words to reveal himself were curled up under his tongue.

“Mother? Do you think he’s alright?”

“It’s very unlike your brother to leave his blankets in a mess on the floor. And it’s even more unlike him to be up at this time of his own accord.”

She walked swiftly to the door and called to one of the guards. “Thor I want you to go with Tyrell to your father’s rooms.” She reached out and squeezed Tyrell’s arm. “Go straight there. Don’t stop for anything or anyone, no matter who they appear to be. Deliver the Prince straight to his Father.”

“Yes my lady.”

Thor was pulling on her skirt, his face so familiarly determined and it should have made Loki feel sick, but it was apparently hard to hate a child.

“I can help find him.”

“Well Father’s rooms are a good place to start. He may have gone straight there when he woke up.” She brushed Thor’s hair back from his face and kissed him lightly. “There is probably a very simple explanation for this and we’ll be off to caves as planned.”

Thor went with the guard, keeping in time with his march, talking all the time about how if Loki had gone missing, it would obviously be him who found his brother.

Frigga shut the door and said calmly, “Loki, if this is a new spell it’s very good. Very clever. But please come out now, you had me quite fooled.”

Loki swallowed but didn’t respond, he had no way to explain and no desire to linger. Just being here, seeing them like this was making the near constant ache in chest squeeze.

Frigga shut her eyes and a soft, green glow began to sweep the room. A revelation spell that Loki as he was now could easily counter. When she opened her eyes again he saw the horror in her face. The spell should have shown at least which way the boy had gone, but with him still in the room and fighting it, it had sunk to the floor and was curling around confused. The sort of way it might have reacted if Loki had been magically lifted out of here, or even possibly killed.

Frigga’s hand lifted to her mouth, she looked more scared than he ever remembered seeing her. She ran out of the room, calling to the guards and it took everything he had not to stretch his hand out after her.

****

Loki stared at the blond, bearded man who apparently knew his name and said, “If you know who I am and you are in anyway responsible for my present situation or my brother’s, you must know what the Allfather will do to you if he finds you. I demand to speak to Thor.”

Hardly a great threat as if he couldn’t reach Frigga, Loki was very unlikely to be able to reach Odin, but whoever this was didn’t know that.

“Loki…Loki I am Thor,” the blond man said. He didn’t look very bright, but that was the stupidest ruse he’d ever heard.

“No you’re not!”

“Loki I swear I am. I think, I think you’re contacting me from the past somehow. But I swear to you I am your brother.”

The sincerity in his voice made Loki pause and really look at him. There was something of Thor in him he realised, his eyes were very blue and looked like Thor’s when he was trying to make Loki believe something wasn’t his fault or hadn’t been deliberate.

“If you are Thor…” he managed before the sound of scuffling came from the bowl and he could see faint faces behind Thor’s. 

“Is that really Loki as a kid?” A woman said incredulously, and then a man said, “He was kind of cute. I’m disturbed, is anyone else disturbed?”

Maybe-Thor turned around slightly and snapped, “Be quiet all of you and get back.”

There was more scuffling and mutters from the bowl before the rest of the faces faded and Maybe-Thor raised his hand, his fingers reaching out and held up his hand to reveal an old jagged scar on his palm. 

“If I was Thor I would know that creating a cut that would bind us as blood brothers forever and leave a scar took weeks of you studying, finding the right spells to inhibit healing and finally the use of an enchanted knife you had to bribe a guard to buy you.

“I would know our hands bled for days and our parents shouted at us for what felt like hours. I would know that we were locked in our separate rooms for weeks as punishment, but half-way you found the secret passage between them.

“I would know your scar matches my own almost entirely, apart from that the knife slipped as you made the cut in my palm and mine goes slightly further down towards my wrist.”

“Would anyone other than I know that story, Loki.”

Loki whispered back, “Thor could have told you, you could have tortured it out of him.” But he didn’t really believe it and Thor, Thor his older, grown-up brother shook his head and smiled at him with a smile he’d recognise anywhere, in any time, and after no matter how long.

“No brother, for I never would have betrayed such a sacred trust.”

Loki was crying again, couldn’t stop the tears running down his cheeks. He was ashamed and tried frantically to wipe at them, as he said, “Thor I don’t know where I am. I was trying to scry and find mother, but I can’t, and I was trying to reach you in case you’ve been kidnapped too, but I must have got it wrong, and I escaped from a tower in the sky, but people must be looking for me and I don’t know why I’ve been kidnapped or how to get home.”

He shut his mouth sharply, embarrassed by the babble. But Thor just shook his head and said, “Loki, please stay calm. You’ve done very well to escape and contact me. I might be able to help more than my younger-self anyway, I have rather more experience of escape and danger than I did at your age. Now tell me everything.”

So Loki did, leaving out that he was only wearing socks and still in the trousers he wore to bed. Thor nodded, looking more and more severe and when he described the rooms he’d been in and mentioned the black flat things, Thor asked if he’d taken one.

Loki nodded and lifted it out the bag and held it up. In the depths of the bowl the babble of voices started up again, but far louder until someone shouted, “Everyone shut up and let Thor talk to him!”

The voices died down and Thor turned and said to someone, “Thank you Captain.” Then looking back to Loki he said, “Loki I don’t think you’re contacting me from the past. Your spell worked, but you’ve somehow been moved into the future and you’re on Midgard.”

“I can’t be on Midgard, I told you! There were glass towers in the sky and metal speeding machines and…”

“It’s a long way in the future and Midgardians have come very far. But we need to find out where you are exactly and I can come and get you.”

The babble of voices started again and Thor repeated very loudly. “So I can come and get you Brother.” The babble quietened down to muttering and Thor leaned forward to say, “Can you go to the end of the alley and see if there’s a sign with the name of the road. Some Midgardian countries like to put up lots of flags too or pictures of them, see if you can see one nearby.”

He didn’t want to go back onto the main road, but made himself stand up and creep to the end of the alley.

The muttering coming from the bowl was actually quite reassuring, especially as he could hear Thor’s deep rumble over the other voices. It was very strange though, his Thor’s voice wasn’t getting any deeper, no matter how much he claimed it was.

He couldn’t see an obvious road name or flag, but there was a green sign with what looked like a direction on it. Deciding that was the best he could hope for he ran back to the bowl and repeated it to Thor. 

One of the other voices snapped sharply, “That’s in Manhattan.” Thor beamed at him and said, “Hold tight my brother. You just need to brave a little longer as I will be with you in mere minutes.”

Loki nodded, unable to speak as the only thing he could think to say would be to hurry Thor along, which wouldn’t make Thor think he was being brave at all, and reluctantly cut the connection. 

Sitting there, huddled up waiting for Thor to arrive, all he could think was that it still didn’t make any sense. Not really. How had he come to the future and why? Was that man really Thor? And how had he ended up here, apparently very close to where Thor was?

The wind whipped up around him, he pulled his knees up closer and then saw a man, Thor he realised, his now grown-up brother, slowly sinking down from the sky waving what had to be Mjölnir above his head. He was being followed by a man sized robot who was dropping down with him and all Loki could think to say was, “You can fly?”

****

Loki would have thought that any day he caused chaos and confusion in Asgard was a good one. Certainly it was entertaining to watch people who would age to hate and betray him running all over the place in fear for his welfare. But he also couldn’t bring himself to go far from Frigga, and her distress was horrible to watch.

Thor had thankfully been banished to a locked room somewhere, so Loki didn’t have to deal with the complex roil of emotions seeing him so young and small brought up. Odin he just avoided. The Sun had wound past midday when Frigga turned sharply and made her way back to Loki’s old bedroom. She shut the door sharply behind her and Loki only just managed to stop his cloak getting caught in it.

She paused and then walked into the middle room and said, “Show yourself.”

For a moment Loki thought she was confused, or desperate enough to think his younger self was still hiding here, perhaps hiding from the trouble he’d caused. But she turned slowly, her expression hard and furious, and said, “I know there has been someone dogging my steps for hours. Reveal yourself and tell me where my son is.”

Loki hesitated, not sure what to do as she continued. “He’s just a little boy. Please, tell me where he is, why he’s been taken. Asgard has gold and the Allfather will listen to your demands.” Her eyes were shining, he’d never heard her beg like this and he couldn’t bear to see her cry. As she said please one more time he let the spell drop and moved to step directly in front of her. For a second her eyes just went wide and then before he could raise her hands to defend himself she was on him. A blade was in her hand and she’d pushed him up against the wall, the sword was pressing into his neck.

“Talk,” she hissed, the tears and weakness gone from her face. “Your only chance of escaping this with your life is to tell me where Loki is right now.”

He tried to push her back slightly, but the blade started to cut into his skin and he gasped, “I’m Loki! I know that seems very unlikely, but I promise you I’m Loki. I don’t know how I came to be here. I woke up this morning in my childhood bedroom, centuries in my past. I don’t know where my younger self is or why this happened.”

She didn’t look very convinced at first, but as she looked up into his face, he could see some doubt creep into her eyes.

“Your spell didn’t work this morning because I countered it. Try it again and you will see.”

She took a step back and said, “If you’re lying…”

“I’m not.”

She raised her hand and the locator spell went straight for him, settling into his bones and under his skin. Flaring star bright for a second before fading into a soft, golden glow. He could feel her love in it, her concern and her fear.

“Loki?”

He nodded and she stepped back towards him and raised her hand to brush his cheek.

“You grew so tall.”

He caught her hand, but then couldn’t let it go and to his horror could feel his own tears building up his eyes.

“Why didn’t you reveal yourself to me straight away, why hide?”

He swallowed looking for the right lie amongst all the complicated truths and stories. “I wasn’t sure what was happening, if this was even real. Perhaps some enemy enchantment had laid a trap for me. It’s taken me a few hours to be sure this is real and safe.”

She nodded and he wasn’t entirely sure she believed him.

“And why do you weep to see me Loki?”

He couldn’t speak but his face must have been answer enough as she just said quietly, “Ah.”

“I…”

She straightened up and her smile was a little forced but calm as she said, “Well you’re younger than I would have expected that to happen. I was able to see you and Thor grow up at least?”

“Yes. It was…it was quite recent.”

They fell quiet for a moment and he made himself smile at her scrutiny. “Well,” Frigga said briskly, “I think our main concern is to try and rectify this. If you and your younger self have been swapped for some reason we need to get him back.” She hesitated and looked him up and down again before saying, “Is there any reason to think he’s in any danger.”

The question had been worrying Loki too. He couldn’t remember much of the night before, it was all fog and mists, but he thought he’d gone to sleep in his flat in New York. Thinking of himself at that age was hard, he could only see ignorance and foolishness in his memories. What would he have thought? Just the sight of Midgard would be incredibly confusing. He had his wits though, and some early magic spells.

If he wasn’t fine, if his enemies caught up with him though? If his younger self died, would he vanish from existence? Or what if he hadn’t been swapped but just been aged to this point and all that future was still to come?

He looked back at Frigga and said, “He should be. But I don’t think we should delay discovering what has happened.” And then, though it hurt him in ways that made no sense, “He’ll have woken up alone and I was far from Asgard.”

She frowned but nodded, turned and said “We’ll find your father and…”

“No!”

That burst out of him before he could stop it and she turned back to him, saying bleakly, “Is he lost to you too?”

“He lives.” The words were bitter and sour in his mouth. 

“You say that almost with hatred.”

They stared at each other and Loki suddenly couldn’t take it any more and walked rapidly to the balcony. He pushed open the doors and took in deep breaths of air. Crystal clear compared to the pollution on Midgard or the dust of the repair work that Asgard had been filled with last time he’d been there.

She followed him and he spat, “Tell me, has he been worried this morning? Scouring the palace, searching for the arrant prince?”

“Loki of course he has, he’s been frantic.”

“Well it’s so awkward to loose the relics you stole. No need to explain to the original owners in this case of course, but…”

“Loki what are you talking about?”

Her voice was quiet but fierce and when he turned back to look at her, he could see the tension and he just smiled hopelessly. 

“You know.”

“You found out about…about where you were originally from.”

He nodded and she stepped quickly towards him, taking his hands.

“I may not know how, although I imagine not gently from your reaction. And I do not know what happened between you and your father, but he loves you Loki. Always. As any father loves their son.”

He opened his mouth to answer when he saw the door to the room opening. Odin was in full armour and he filled almost the whole width of the doorway. He stopped suddenly, stared at their joined hands, and just as he opened his mouth Loki got in quickly, “This really, really isn’t what it looks like.”

*****

“Aye I can fly,” Thor said as he landed in the alley. Loki took a step towards him, still feeling a bit wary, but then he was pulled into Thor’s arms and into a hug. Loki froze up, Thor always gave fantastic hugs, even if they didn’t hug as much as they used to, but this was more like hugging Father. He face was crushed in Thor’s armour, but he smelt of storms in a way Father didn’t.

When Thor eventually let him go, he cupped Loki’s face and his face was strangely sad for a moment before he said, “Well my brave brother, I can take you to safety now. If you hold onto me I can fly us there.”

“Where are we going?” Loki asked, and then, “How do you fly?”

Thor smiled truly then and showed him Mjölnir. “Father gifted her to me some years ago. And she lets me wield her.”

Loki reached out and stroked the hammer’s leather strap. Mjölnir was one of may treasures in the vault in Asgard, and not one he’d thought that interesting, but if it allowed someone to fly then it must be a great treasure indeed.

“To your first question, we’re going to the home of my comrade here.” Thor motioned the robot over who flicked his face plate up, revealing a fairly ordinary looking face with thin facial hair. “Loki, this is Tony Stark, known in Midgard as the Man of Iron.”

Loki bowed, glad he hadn’t mentioned the robot and said, “Thank you for your hospitality Lord Stark.”

Stark looked surprised and said, “You don’t need to call me a Lord kid.” He turned back to Thor and said, “Ready?”

Thor nodded and said, “Put your arms around me neck and hold on.”

“We’re going to fly?” Loki asked with some trepidation as he obeyed and hooked his legs around Thor’s waist too.

Thor beamed at him and said, “Hold on tight my brother!”

And then in a moment, thunder crackling in his ears they rose up and shot across the city. Loki screamed in shock and buried his face in Thor’s neck, but then he managed to just peak and saw the silver rivers winding between islands full of the buildings that reached for the sky. They were far above them now, and he could see the sea too, glistening in the faint sunlight. Thor, paused and hovered as Loki gazed out at it all. It was impossible to believe that Midgard, Midgard with it’s mud hovels and muddy people had created all this.

Thor squeezed him and said, “It’s incredible what they’ve become.”

Loki nodded and they flew back over the city, Thor pointed out a spiky building with a huge rune hanging from it and said, “That is Avengers Tower, my home when I am on Midgard.” He looked over at Tony Stark, his red armour glinting as it caught the sun and circling them at a distance. “Would you like to race him there, Loki?”

To which there could be only one response and Loki whooped as he and Thor took off flying through the air as though they were free as birds.

They just beat the Man of Iron back and Thor practically crashed onto a large platform on the outside of the building. It had scorch marks on and Loki wondered if it had seen battle at some point.

Thor clapped his hand on his shoulder and laughed as a group of strangely dressed people slowly walked out of a huge glass door and onto the platform.

“Loki, this is Natasha Romanov.” A red haired woman bowed and smiled kindly at him, before he was introduced to Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson and a man called Captain Rogers who was wearing a costume that Loki privately thought was ridiculous, but he kept his face very polite and bowed lower to him to hide his smile.

“So is Hawkeye out for a walk?” Stark said, Loki looked up at him. His tone was light, but something in it was jarring. The Captain replied carefully that he was, but his tone was also off and Thor and Banner had both looked away. He realised he’d clearly walked into something complex here and Thor was unlikely to be much help navigating it, unless he’d changed a lot more than seemed likely.

Deciding that a little extra humility and politeness wouldn’t go amiss, Loki bowed again and said, “I thank all of you for your hospitality and hope I won’t trespass on it too long. I’m sure Thor can help me get back to Asgard soon.” He smiled up at his brother who now looked truly troubled. Loki wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he could hardly be sure these were Thor’s real friends and comrades.

Thor took a breath and squeezed his shoulder. “Come inside Loki, are you hungry?” Loki nodded, suddenly realising that yes he was starving, and followed Thor into the building. He couldn’t help notice that the group of humans all walked around them, rather like an honour guard. Or possibly guards escorting a prisoner.

*** 

Frigga dropped his hands and quickly said, “Odin this is Loki.” Loki ended up backing up as he watched Frigga try and explain their conversation, she left out how he had accidentally revealed her death and made it sound as though he had been unable to reveal himself until now.

Odin’s eye flicked to him constantly, suspicion slowly fading, but clearly still wary. Loki forced himself to meet his gaze, and when Frigga got to who had truly spawned him, he tilted his head up proudly, unable to stop a faint sneer.

After it was done Odin walked past Frigga and reached him. Loki swallowed as the man said, “You grow to be tall.”

Loki nodded and forced himself to say, “If only height were the measure of a man.”

Odin looked shocked for a moment and then nodded. “And yet it is not. We clearly need to rectify this situation, come to my chambers and we can see what enchantments lie about you.”

He opened his mouth to snap back something about not taking orders from Odin, no matter what time they were in, when there was the sound of something heavy falling over in the corridor, a smash and then Thor’s childish voice yelling, “I don’t care, I’m not going back! My brother is missing and I am going to find him!”

“Oh for…” Frigga muttered and swept out. Odin politely gestured for Loki to walk in front of him, which was such a surprise that Loki did it without really thinking. He was searching for an insult, something to get them back onto a recognisable footing, when he reached the door and saw Thor, and what could only be tiny versions of Sif, Fandral and a slightly older Volstagg who was covering his eyes and looking abashed. 

There were also a collection of embarrassed looking einherjar grouped around them. Loki stepped back and called the shadows to hide him as Frigga and Odin shouted at Thor and the others. Fandral was clearly trying not to cry as he was led away and Loki wished he had a device on him to record the moment. Even one of Midgard’s phones would do.

When the rest were gone and Odin had wound down, Thor’s head was dropping but his eyes were still angry.

“I have to help find him.”

“You do not,” Frigga replied. “For he is found, but there has been some sort of mishap and we seem to have exchanged him for a Loki a millennium or so older.”

Loki sighed and stepped out of the shadows and couldn’t help smiling as Thor stared up at him and said, “But he’s so tall!”

****

Seated at a table in a kitchen, with the most delicious sandwich he had possibly ever eaten - bacon was amazing and as soon as he was able to get back to Asgard he was going to beg his parents to find out how the Midgardians made it and get to them to tell the chefs straight away - and some rich, sweet juice from a Midgardian fruit called a mango, which apparently his older self was fond of, Loki felt much better.

There were still strange things going on. The others had seemed surprised that Thor knew what his preferences here would be, but that was stupid. Even if as adults they no longer lived together - possible he supposed as most adult siblings he knew didn’t - they still would of course see each other all the time. He couldn’t imagine Thor ever not dragging him out on his stupid adventures, and he was one of the best people for Loki to test his magic on.

Thor sat down beside him and carefully picked up the magic bag he found. His thumb rubbed over the stitches and he said carefully, “Where did you find this, Loki?”

“Do you recognise it?” Lady Romanov said to Thor lightly, coming to sit down next to them and taking a bite of her own sandwich. She was really very pretty and the friendliest of all of Thor’s companions here, so Loki smiled at her and replied to both of them.

“It was in the rooms I woke up in. I knew it was carry-all bag, so thought it would be useful. I took money from there, and that black thing and some food.” 

“Very clever,” she said approvingly. Thor nodded and said, “I think it belongs to you Loki. Or your older self anyway.”

“But why would it be in those rooms?”

“You didn’t like them?” Thor asked. Loki shook his head and looked at his hands. He wanted to say that the rooms with their dark magic and dark curtains had scared him, but Thor had praised his bravery repeatedly already today and he couldn’t fail in front of him now.

“They were very plain.”

He suspected he hadn’t fooled Thor who just sighed and then Stark broke in, out of his armour now.

“So what do we think, has Bambie here been picked up from the past, or do we think he’s normal - well older Loki - but just turned back into a child. And it’s far too early to be saying stuff this crazy.”

Loki looked at Thor and asked, “Bambie?”

Thor rolled his eyes and replied, “Stark often calls people names that only make sense to him. I’ve found it is not worth the time to ask him to explain.”

“I’m offended, Thor seriously.” He didn’t look offended though and winked at Loki as he went back to sipping a horrible looking green drink that in Loki’s opinion contained far too many vegetables.

“He had a point though,” Banner said. “If Loki here is a visitor from the past, can we alter time by letting him find out too much about the future?”

“But what if he isn’t?” Natasha said, “What if this is spell gone wrong or something, a permanent change. There are things we need to tell him then.”

They continued to talk over him and Loki finished the last of his juice and put his hand on Thor’s arm. “Can you reach Mother and Father? They must be able to help.”

The sadness in Thor’s face was horrible and everyone around the table went silent.

Thor put down his mug and said quietly, “I think that answers the question. Loki have you finished your sandwich?”

He gulped the last few mouthfuls and nodded. Thor stood up and addressed the room, “I’m going to take my brother to my rooms now.”

Loki scrambled off the chair and the Captain said, “Is that the best choice, Thor?”

Thor dropped his hand to Loki’s shoulder and said, “I know my brother, better than any of you ever could. Loki, please come with me.”

It had been a horrible morning, scary, confusing and completely strange by turn and Loki was almost relieved when Thor shut the door behind them and they were alone.

But then Thor began to talk. 

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Mikimoo for reading this over, I really appreciate it!

Thor sat Loki down on a couch and took his hands. Loki frowned at him and tried to pull away, Thor was being odd and the strangeness of everything hit him all over again.

“What are you doing?”

Thor sighed and rolled Loki’s hand over to look at his palms. He seemed to be looking at the scar and Loki instinctively curled his fingers over it.

“Loki…Loki look at me.” He looked up into Thor’s serious blue eyes. “I need to tell you about what has happened recently. I don’t know how long you’ll be here for, or how you came here, but I believe we’ll need Father’s help. And there are…there is information you need.”

Loki nodded slowly and bit his lip, not sure inside he really wanted to know now. Thor smiled at him and said, “Before I begin, you need to know,” and here he raised their hands and pressed them against Loki’s chest, “You need to truly know in your heart, that we are brothers.”

He was being strange and even more confusing and Loki said quietly, “I know.”

Thor squeezed his hands and looked sadder than ever as he said, “Then you also must know I will always be there for you, always care about you and care for you if the need arises.”

Loki nodded his head slowly, “Just tell me.”

“Firstly…Loki, your scrying spell probably would have worked, but it couldn’t because…because our Mother is dead.”

When he was younger, much younger than he was now, he and Thor had sneaked into one of the warrior training rooms and they’d been playing with the equipment. Thor had swung round on a bag filled with sand and it had hit him in the centre of his chest. The blow and the bruise had been terrible and he’d hardly been able to breathe, the ache had lingered for days.

Thor’s words were like the blow, but the hurt was so much worse than the bruise.

“What?”

“I’m sorry brother.”

“No, that can’t be true.” He could feel the tears sliding out of his eyes and running down his face. It could not be true. She’d be there, in Asgard, waiting for him to get back. She’d smile and hug him and he could bury his face in her hair.

“It is true, I would never lie to you about this.”

It was like a blizzard, like a living thing inside him as Thor pulled him close and Loki started to weep into his shoulder. 

“It can’t be true, it can’t be…”

It was, though it couldn’t be, and he pushed his forehead into Thor’s collarbone. He tried to stop the sobs but they just built up thicker and thicker in his throat and came out in a mess that soaked Thor’s shirt. Thor hugged him closer, his hand was so big it covered the whole of the back his head and that was wrong too, Thor shouldn’t be that much bigger than him. He smacked his fist against Thor’s shoulder, but it didn’t help, nothing helped and nothing was going to make this go away, ever, ever.

Why her, _why her_? Of all the people in the Nine Realms, of all the people in the whole universe why his mother?

The hours passed away as he cried, rain streamed down the windows until eventually he was just done, the tears dried up and he could only lean feebly against Thor, his hand clenched in his brother’s sleeve. 

Thor shifted and gently pushed him up.

“Are you thirsty?”

He was thirsty he realised, his throat was parched and his eyes were swollen up. He nodded and Thor stood up and walked over to the cupboards, shaking out his arm.

“I only have apple juice or milk I think, or water.”

It was so small a question, so tiny and Loki just murmured, “I don’t care.”

Thor hesitated and opened a white cupboard. “Apple juice then.” 

The rain outside got heavier and Loki turned to watch it, too hollowed out to do anything else. Thor came back and handed him the glass. Loki sipped it and watched as Thor sunk down onto the sofa, he was just so big, even bigger than father. And he realised Thor had been crying too, his eyes were red and his face was flushed.

As Thor dropped his head in his hands, Loki edged over and put his hand on Thor’s huge arm.

“You shouldn’t cry, men don’t cry.”

Thor lifted his head and looked at Loki very seriously. “Do you think our mother doesn’t deserve tears?”

“No! No, but you…”

“Mother was a wonderful woman. One of the most wonderful that has ever lived. There is no shame in mourning her.”

Loki sipped the juice, still not quite able to make the connection between his Thor, bright and obnoxious and this man with tears on his face and sadness in his eyes.

Thor sighed and then smiled and Loki didn’t understand how it was possible for it to be reaching his eyes. 

“Does it get better? What I’m feeling now…does it stop?”

He didn’t answer for a moment and then reached for Loki’s hands again. “It happened recently. Asgard was attacked…”

“Asgard!”

“Yes. We defeated the attackers and avenged her together.”

“Oh.”

There was so much, just too much, and Thor seemed to realise that. He stood up quickly and opened a shiny, silver case. “So I don’t know if it will ever stop, if I could lie to you I would, but all I can say is it eases. As time goes by, some days, it eases.”

Loki pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. It didn't seem possible for it to ease.

Thor made a satisfied noise and the lights dimmed. “Technology here is very backward, you saw earlier how far they’ve come, but doing anything involves three more steps than it would at home. I think they thought I was quite stupid at first.”

He shot Loki a small smile and Loki sniffed and managed, “Well you probably were.”

Thor’s smiled got wider and the black rectangle behind him suddenly lit up.

“A lot of their stories need explaining, but they have two very fine sagas if you would like to watch something.”

Loki shrugged.

“One is about a very noble, hairy footed creature who has to dispose of a magic ring, and the other is about noble adventurers in space who must bring down an evil empire.”

They both sounded pointless, but Loki took another sip of his apple juice and muttered, “The magic ring, I suppose.”

Thor pressed a few buttons and pictures began to flash across the screen, they were curiously flat, but the story was compelling. The hurt didn’t go away, it had locked inside him and he missed…he missed everything. Asgard, his bedroom, the things he’d collected and treasured, his father, _his mother_ …But he couldn’t have it no matter how much he wanted it, and for now there was nothing to do but curl against Thor and watch Frodo and his quest unfold as the rain streamed down the window.

**** 

The four of the them stood awkwardly in Odin’s office. Thor was still shooting him disbelieving looks, and Frigga and Odin didn’t seem quite sure how to interact with him, being overly formal and in Odin’s case mildly incredulous.

Frigga fussed with drinks, and Loki stared around the room. It hadn’t changed much really, some different books and few more pictures of himself and Thor as small children, but basically unchanged in a millennium. Asgard and the Allfather in essence, stagnated and static.

He nodded his thanks as Frigga handed him tea, trying to charm her with a small smile and remembering he needed to be polite, to be charming, to be what one would want a younger son to grow into. He coughed as he took a sip though and put it down quickly.

“Is something wrong?” 

“Just a little sweet, it’s fine.”

It wasn’t just a little sweet, it tasted like half Asgard’s honey had been mixed into it.

“Oh of course, I’m sorry.” She actually looked upset for a moment, and said quietly, “I shouldn’t have just assumed you’d still drink it the same way.”

He’d apparently never lose his ability to hurt her. He made himself take another sip. 

“It truly is fine.”

Odin coughed lightly and tilted Gungir towards him and said, “Do you have any thoughts on how this happened?”

A question he couldn’t even fault Odin for asking, but frustratingly he truly didn’t know.

He wanted to say something impressive and insightful, but once he realised the silence had gone on too long, he was forced to just shrug and say, “I don’t. I’ve been staying on Midgard. I went to sleep there, and woke up here. There was nothing in the slightest strange or different about that day.”

“What were you doing on Midgard?” Thor piped up and Loki resisted the urge to glare at him. 

“Visiting. Humans don’t live in the mud anymore.”

“Can you think of anyone who may have done this to you?” Odin asked and stepped towards him, raising Gungnir as if he was going to touch Loki with it. Without thinking Loki flinched back, his hand coming up to defend himself, and Odin froze.

They stood there with Loki’s hand raised and magic just gathering under the surface of his skin. Odin leaning forward and it was Frigga who broke the silence, taking Odin’s hand and lowering it.

Loki opened his mouth to say something, anything that would explain his reaction other than the guttural panic that had seized inside him. But it would Odin who said, “I apologise. I did not mean you any harm, Loki, only to see if the remnants of a spell still hung around you.”

“He should have asked though,” Frigga said slightly too brightly.

Loki nodded and dropped his own hand, “I overreacted. You just startled me.”

The room was very tense now and Frigga stepped between him and Odin and said softly, “I can test this too, if you’ll let me.”

He knew the spell she’d probably use, but how far back would it go? Would she also see the traces of his magic put to malevolence, to cause harm? And it was stupid to care if she did.

But assuming this was magic, it must have been very powerful magic. Perhaps so powerful that her spell wouldn’t show his own.

He nodded and carefully bent his head towards her. The feel of her magic sliding over him was so soft and so sweet, it didn’t force or scrape. It didn’t grab at him or tug and he couldn’t stop the tears sliding out of his eyes. He never thought he would feel this again, before she’d even died he thought he’d burnt away any chance of this.

The magic left him with a last caress of his cheek and when he opened his eyes he saw her’s were damp too.

“Mother?” Thor said quietly, touching her hand. And Odin stepped forward, looking concerned and gently resting his hand on Frigga’s shoulder. Such a strange thing, to remember how Odin could be gentle.

“I am fine.” The tears vanished from her cheeks like they’d never been there and he remembered to do the same with his own.

“There was magic performed on Loki recently, strong magic although strange, I haven’t felt it’s like before. It almost seemed…metallic.”

Loki groaned, bloody Doom then.

“Does that mean something to you?” Odin asked and Loki nodded.

“Aye. A mortal well…sorcerer I suppose. A sometimes associate of mine.” Sometimes ally, sometimes enemy. Always a massive annoyance that left Loki regretting he’d ever had any dealings with the man.

“And he’d wish you harm?” 

Loki answered Odin with a shrug and walked away from them to the window. “That depends on the day of the week. At the moment…” Well at the moment almost certainly yes, when you considered what Loki had done to his ridiculous castle last time he was there. “Probably.”

There was a soft humming noise behind him and he turned to see Frigga recreating the spell she’d pulled from him. He caught a glimpse of his own smaller self, eyes shut and peaceful before it twisted violently and scattered around the room.

“Well,” Frigga said, “It certainly seems to have been done with violent intent, and it does indeed seem to have swapped you.” 

“Does that mean he’s in danger?” Thor said, tugging at Odin’s arm. Odin ignored him though and looked straight at Loki and said, “Does it?”

“I have enemies. Who doesn’t? I assume my younger self will try and contact you. My rooms are warded against Doctor Doom - the one who did this - and there’s food there. He’s safe enough as long as he doesn’t leave.”

The conversation then dissolved into a debate on how to reverse it and when they had a resolution, and a hope that his ridiculous younger self would indeed try and contact Asgard, as the spell would be easier to reverse if both sides were attempting it. 

He wanted to snap at Odin constantly and had to excuse himself for a moment, claiming the need to relieve himself, but in the bathroom he could only take deep, gasping breaths and grip the edge of the sink so hard it seemed a marvel his fingers weren’t sending cracks right through it. He splashed his face with cold water and once he felt moderately in control of his emotions again, he went back into the main room with a smile. 

Frigga stood up as he entered and called back Thor who had got bored during the magical debate and wandered off into the adjoining rooms. 

“Well if you are working on that, my love I really should go out there and calm everyone down. There are bound to be lots of questions about Loki going missing, but hopefully I can reassure them it was an accident.”

She smiled ruefully at Loki, “However, in the circumstances I’m not sure how well the appearance of a strange man with us will be received.”

She was right of course, but Loki still had to bite back the sour response he wanted to make. The conversation had got fraught, and Odin was still avoiding his eyes. After pausing for a moment Frigga pushed Thor towards him.

“I know this is probably very strange for you both, but Thor could keep you company.” He was about to snap he wasn’t a baby sitter, when he really looked at Thor’s face. Thor still looked slightly unconvinced and wary, rather than the brat he thought he remembered Thor being at this age.

He supposed the insecurity held potential for mischief and he nodded slowly, not quite able to stop looking at Thor’s bright face.

It was hard parting from Frigga again, but he made himself do it and walked with Thor through the secret corridors from Odin’s offices to the family suite. Once they were there Thor put his hands on his hips and frowned up at him.

“You’re really my brother?”

He couldn’t have asked a worst question, but something in Loki balked at hurting a child. Any child would surely be the same, there was nothing special about Thor.

“I really am Loki.”

Thor grinned then, the smile lit up his whole face and before Loki could step back, the boy had tackled him and was hugging him hard. Loki squirmed, tried to pull away and pushed at Thor’s shoulder with his free hand.

“I need to breathe!”

And Thor’s clingy embrace was pushing the knives hidden at his waist into his skin.

Thor jumped back and just said simply, “I was worried. I didn’t know where you were or how to rescue you. Well, I’m still worried about younger you, but Father will sort it out. So you’re really grown up?”

“Yes I’m really grown up.” And in need of a drink, a bucket of wine big enough to drown in would be a good start.

“So…” Thor shifted on his feet and blurted out, “Do I become a great warrior?”

“What?”

“Do I…do I become a great warrior? I’m trying and I’m getting better…” He trailed off and Loki stared at him trying to work out how to respond. As a child he never remembered Thor struggling with learning to fight or weapons practice. The only thing Thor had been bad at when he was this age was talking to girls who weren’t Sif.

He could say something cruel, not an outright denial or something so unbelievable, but a hint. An implication that Thor was never great, was only average. If he could dent the boy’s confidence and arrogance now a lot of things might change for the better.

But his brother was so small. And so young. And he’d hugged Loki so tightly his skin was still bleeding from the pinpricks of his knives.

“You…you do, Thor.”

There were surely worlds with suns less bright than Thor’s beaming smile, and he whooped and jumped up triumphantly.

“Yes! And does Sif? I know she wants to be a warrior just as much as me but everyone keeps telling her she can’t and we have to keep practicing in secret. Oh don’t tell mother and father that!”

How like Thor to ask about Sif before him, he would presumably now have to give Fandral and Volstagg’s life stories too. It was only a blessing Hogun hadn't made it to Asgard yet.

“She does,” he said bitterly.

Thor smiled happily and then frowned and stepped towards him again and put his hand on Loki’s arm. Had he always been so inclined to touch people?

“And what about you? I know you’re studying magic all the time, are you very powerful now?”

Well finally, and he never could resist showing off. He held his hand up so it was level with Thor’s face and turned it over. Snow began to fall in the room drifting down and landing in Thor’s hair. Thor looked up and Loki sent an eddy towards him, right into his face.

The boy giggled and the Loki tightened his fist so Thor had his own personal snow cloud. Thor stepped away and it followed him, until Loki was chasing him round the room with it. Thor tried hiding under a table, or vaulting over the bed to outrun it, but it just kept following him, until Loki broke the spell with a last strong gust that covered Thor.

Thor just laughed harder and wiped his face.

“That was brilliant! What else can you do?”

“Things that would make your skin crawl and hair stand on end.”

“Show me!”

Even he wasn’t apparently depraved enough to be tempted by that. So Loki brought Thor’s toy soldiers to life and made them march and dance. Fruit became siege engines, and horses leapt out of Thor’s pictures to carry the soldiers. And through it all Thor stared at him as though he’d lit up the world. When he tired of it, when the ache in his chest became too much to handle, Loki clapped his hands and all of it went back to the way it had been. As if he’d never been there.

“Can you shape shift? I know you were trying.”

It was but a second’s concentration to shift into her female form and she had to grin at Thor’s yelp. “You’ve turned into a girl!” 

“It’s easy to turn into a girl. I could turn you into one too.”

“No! Don’t you dare!”

Loki raised her hand threateningly and Thor jumped backwards.

Changing gender was easy, maybe…ah yes. She concentrated and let the magic shift through her, stretching limbs and neck, clothes flowing into hair, tail bone lengthening and flicking until the transformation was done. She blinked long eye lashes at Thor and whinnied softly.

He was transfixed and edged towards her slowly, cautiously raising his hand.

“Loki?” She snorted at him. “Loki, you’re a horse.”

That deserved more than a snort and she pushed him hard with her head and scraped the floor with her hooves. 

“You’re a horse, you’ve actually turned into a horse. That’s…that’s amazing. Can I ride you?”

She skittered back, hrumphing at him and backing away.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause offence. But if I can ride you we can go anywhere today, no will question me riding and then you can gallop us off and we can have adventures. Please, Loki.”

Thor had come closer now and was gently stroking her neck, and down her face to her nose. She should bite him or stamp on his foot, but it felt deceptively nice.

“We were supposed to go out to the caves today, you love the caves. You always find interesting things, and one of these days we’re going to find treasure in them. They’re caves, there has to be treasure.”

The logic of children. But, once you were in an animal form you picked up some of their instincts, it had been a century or so probably since Loki had been a horse, but now she was and her limbs twitched with the need to run, to feel that power working and pound it out, away from these rooms full of ghosts.

She shifted back to human and then to male, deciding explaining the complexities of his gender was more than he wanted to talk about with Thor today.

“Fine, we’ll go to the caves. But we need to get out of here first.” He shifted into his favourite einherjar guard and motioned to a gawping Thor to walk ahead of him.

“I’m not wearing a bridle or a saddle, so you’re just going to have to hang on.”

“I won’t fall off.”

“You better not, it will be me who gets the blame if you get hurt.”

Thor laughed again, clear and joyful. “Don’t be silly, you’d never hurt me.”

The logic of children was apparently a very painful thing.

****

Loki kept his hands clenched so he didn't fiddle with the cuffs of the tunic he’d been given. They were slightly too long and he wasn’t really sure about the clothes in general. The tunic was soft and almost fleecy on the inside, the trousers were really stiff and scratchy and the shoes were made of something like leather, but white and much thinner. They wouldn’t survive poison being dropped on them, but they were weirdly bouncy.

He knew he was bouncing a bit too much, but they were going back to Asgard, he’d see Father again and surely he could make this alright. He’d only slept a little bit the night before. They’d watched the whole tale of the ring, which had been very good, even if mortals seemed to think foes who were decapitated or stabbed didn’t spurt much blood. They’d also watched three of the flat films about the space empire, which had also been good and Loki had definitely decided that finding a spell which would allow him to wave his hand and control peoples’ minds was something he’d look into when he got back to Asgard.

But then the stories were done. They’d eaten more bacon and Thor had given him some of the mortal’s beer. Loki had felt very grown up, but he hadn’t been drunk and Thor had confessed it was so weak it wouldn’t affect an Asgardian child very much at all, but the taste was much the same as normal ale. He hadn’t really liked it, but hadn’t wanted to show that to Thor and had drunk the whole bottle before switching back to apple juice. 

They’d gone to bed shortly after and he had been sleepy, but sleep wouldn’t come. Instead he’d lain curled up against Thor and planning. Once they got back to Asgard, to Father, he’d surely know how to send him back, and once he was there he could make sure that Mother didn’t die. It was brilliant really, he’d squirmed out of Thor’s arms and sat up hugging himself it was so perfect. They could tell him everything bad that was due to happen and he could stop it all. He could make everything better for all of them.

So he was bouncing in the bouncy shoes as he followed Thor back to the balcony they’d been on yesterday. All of Thor’s friends were there to see them off, they were called The Avengers apparently, but none of them would tell him what they were avenging, which was just silly. If you were going to have a name as good as The Avengers, they should be proud of it. There was another man there today who he didn’t like the look of though. He didn’t speak, but kept glaring and his hand kept going to his bow, which wasn’t very nice.

Natasha was nice though and crouched down next to him whilst Thor spoke to the Man of Iron and Captain Rogers. They seemed to be arguing, which he didn’t like the look of either.

“Are you looking forward to going back to Asgard?”

He nodded and smiled at her, but then remembered his mother and it was like being hit with the sandbag all over again.

“I do…but Mother…”

“Ah.” She looked away for a moment and gently took his hand.

“What about your Father?”

His eyes were welling up but he couldn’t cry in front of her and he just whispered, “He’ll be able to send me back. If I can go back, I can fix it.”

She didn’t answer and he looked up at her and said again, “I can fix it!”

Her hand was warm as it brushed his cheek and she looked troubled as she stood up. “I hope you can.” 

All the lightness was gone from her eyes and he nodded seriously. “I’ll do my best.” 

She walked away and he realised that actually she walked like a warrior, the softness was gone. But before he had time to say anything Thor strode back, took his hands and said, “Heimdall, open the bifrost!” And Midgard fell away beneath them.

***

Loki and Thor slid out of one of Asgard’s back doors and into a courtyard. It had occurred to him that with the chaos that morning over one missing prince, going out the main door and galloping off with the other might cause some problems. Of course the other one vanishing without telling anyone where he was going would also be likely to cause problems, but those were problems for later.

After he transformed there was always something that lingered for awhile, the remains of some instincts twitching in his limbs, and now the urge to run, to strain and jump was almost an ache in his legs and arms. 

He transformed into a horse again and whinnied impatiently as Thor pulled over a stool so he could clamber onto him. He’d only carried someone once, long ago, in a time that seemed golden and soaked in spring in his memory, but they were memories of wretched naivety, of illusion thin as glass.

Thor was much lighter and his fingers gripped Loki’s mane as he cried, “Ready!”

Well, he thought he was. If he had a mouth that could manage it Loki would have grinned, instead he neighed once and set off to canter out of the yard. 

People scattered, stalls went flying and guards shouted as he shot through Asgard’s streets, heading for the gate, for freedom for space to run. Thor was clinging on and yelling, but Loki just wanted to laugh at the panicked shouts behind him.

There were guards at the gate walking towards him, but the path was clear and he surged into a gallop. Thor was screaming now and he made it through the gate just before they thought to slam it such. And now, oh now, there was just open ground and he really let himself go.

There was joy in this and freedom in the thoughtlessness as he took the path quickest to the caves, they were getting closer to a hedge, probably the highest he could jump, maybe higher and heard Thor yelling at him to stop, but he had to see, had to do it, had to fly.

His muscles bunched, power went through them as he cleared the hedge and landed on the other side. As they landed Thor’s screams turned to wild laughter and he began to shout at Loki to go faster. The minutes fell away as they powered towards the cave and it was only when Loki was utterly exhausted he slowed to a trot. 

It was like walking back into a dream as they came to the path that led up to the caves. He’d come here as a child to play at tales of buried treasure, as an adolescent with lovers Odin and Frigga had thought him too young to have, as an adult in the hope of rare minerals and plants for spells.

He didn’t feel comfortable, coming here as whatever he was now.

He shivered back into a man without warning Thor, who yelped as he tumbled to the floor. Loki turned back to look at him but the boy grinned up at him and started to laugh, “That was brilliant!”

He shrugged and allowed himself a smirk as he walked into the cave to drink from the spring.

Thor scrambled after him, “Loki, that was amazing. I get made to ride the stupid, fat ponies still and I’ve never been that fast, never ever.”

The goats of course were still to come, it would be rather a shame to spoil that surprise.

“We must have the most amazing adventures when we’re grown up. We’ll be able to go to all the Nine Realms, and maybe beyond them.”

Loki slumped down against the wall, arms and legs aching from the run and watched as Thor climbed up onto a rock.

“Do we go to Midgard? How about Vanneheim? Or…do we go to Jotunheim?”

Loki’s head snapped up, Thor was picking at some moss and not looking at him. Loki’s tongue was thick in his mouth as he managed, “Why do you say Jotunheim? There’s nothing there but ice.”

“Well…” Thor had unpicked all the moss and was jamming a short knife into a crack in the rock. “I heard Mother and Father talking earlier when you were in the loo, they didn’t know I was there, and it sounded like, well it sounded you might have been…um adopted.”

He trailed off and took a deep breath before raising his head and looking Loki straight in the eyes.

“And there was something about Jotunheim, but I didn’t really understand how that fits in.”

Anna flooded him as Loki stood up and hissed, “And if I were? If I weren’t your brother at all, Thor. If I was nothing but one of the wretched frost giants you play at killing? Silly games where you kill me over and over? What if that were true? What then?”

He was leaning over the boy, the light darkened in the cave and he turned his eyes to gleaming red.

“What would I be to you then Odinson?”

Thor stepped back, his eyes were wide and Loki realised distantly he was terrifying the boy. Thor slipped on the rock and fell to the ground with a short cry. He scrambled backwards and then stopped. 

He didn’t take his eyes off Loki and then said in a very small voice as he raised his scarred palm, “You’d still be my brother.”


End file.
